-sprinting! full speed ahead, circa 36 miles through the Philadelphia airport with my strapless dress falling around my waist, flinging bags and elbowing elderly people to the ground in order to catch my flight. in heels, people. in heels.
-fiiiiiiiiiiinally, i made it down the jetway and stepped onto that precious jumbo jet, completely out of breath and blue in the face, arms shaking from the stress and incredible speed. only to look up and see 200 seated passengers staring up at me. why helllllllo, social anxiety. i then squeezed (squoze?) my fat bag/ass down the aisle to seat 12F. why does maneuvering down that aisle feel like being birthed? hands/body shaking too hard for me to even lift my sorry bag into the overhead compartment. blessed stranger gets up and helps me. realize i have the window seat so force the row-mates to get out of their seats for the Crazy Late Runner Girl Who's Panting and Might Dry Heave and Can't Lift Her Bag and Is Maybe On Narcotics She's Such a Mess. Finally, I plop into my seat. Love ya, 12F! i then scope out the scene, taking note of the 2 year old to the left of the aisle. potential for a tantrum over the course of the next six hours: High/ Extremely High. i also note non-English speaking, german-book-reading girl next to me. who is buffering me from adorable twentysomething male on the aisle seat. brief interactions ensue...this could be a fun ride. but alas, i'm still shaking and a hot mess. yes, please, i'll have a vodka cranberry. reaching over Frauline Maria to my left and over Cute Aisle Sitter to retrieve my cocktail from the flight attendant, hands still a bit shaky, i proceed to DUMP entire drink on the shoulder, chest, and pants of my once-potential crush. i offer my t-shirt, he's not impressed. okay, he's a little impressed. but still, i decide i've wrought enough havoc on the world and don't deserve to talk to any humans, let alone men, for at least the rest of the day. i land in san francisco, where my fabulous hostess meets me, feeds me, and sends me to bed, delirious from the time change and at the fact that i'm allowed in public.
and now, today: DAY ONE! woke up, realized i accidentally moved across the country and have nothing to do and no friends. minor freak out. decided to make the trek from here in Los Altos (which is near where I'll be working), into San Francisco. took the train- which of COURSE i had to sprint to. really, why do i wear heels? met my fellow vandy grad and penpal jeanna, who hosted me and reassured me that at least i have one friend. even if she mostly just feels bad for me. we meant to eat lunch, but SERIOUSLY how can you do that when you're passing a monstrous H&M, Urban Outfitters, and then a THREE story Forever 21?! it's like new york city. but without the part where someone mugs you and leaves you for dead. as jeanna is also a recent transplant, we ended up wandering for miles, and stumbled a gorgeous farmers' market outside the beautiful city hall. (shout out to britta for calling SF her european city.) looking for a place that didn't just sell donuts. yes, donuts. either there's a HUGE market for donuts here, or maybe it's vietnamese for "restaurant." regardless, the only food we could find was donuts. i should note that we were in the supposedly sketchiest part of town, known as The Tenderloin/Little Saigon. we left our glocks at home, and shouldn't really have been cruising here for food. but we did find an "oasis of cute", if you will, at a little vietnamese joint called mangosteen, which was cheap and oh-so-tasty and, importantly: served massive portions. done and done. also, i formally approved jeanna as a Friend because she cleaned her respectably sized plate. after OOPS more shopping, we parted ways.
i then made the trek uptown to the Nob Hill area to meet some new friends I'll be starting work with this coming Monday. we hung out in their charming apartment on beautiful, tree-lined Hyde St. and they repeatedly mentioned drinking bailey's, but not in reference to Old Gregg, and i have a lot of problems with this. staright face? impossible. randomly asking them "whatcha doin' in these waters?": irresistable. had a warm nutella crepe here, in homage to my study abroad days in Siena, Italy, where i had one every hour or so. oh heyyyy, elastic waistbands! after losing my phone and wandering like a lost puppy for a couple hundred miles, i found my way back to the apartment of my new friends, where i had brilliantly left my phone. this resulted in yet another sprinting-to-catch-the-bus-which-i-rode-until-i-sprinted-to-catch-the-8:30-train. the bus stopped near the train station at 8:31. i saw the train still at the platform and with a quick prayer, sprinted across the busy intersection toward the train station. the conductor was yelling "we got one more!" and yelled GO GO GO like a seasoned 3rd base coach as i rounded the corner and dove onto the train. phew! a speedy train ride home, jamming to dean martin on my ghetto walkman, and home again home again to los altos.
-san francisco is not quite home.
-but i never expected the shopping to be so glorious, or the weather to be so cold. (i know, i know, everyone told me, but i didn't believe them. 3 cheers for license to purchase new jacket and scarf. which i did.)
-i'm overwhelmed, but thrilled to begin to explore all the neighborhoods i only glimpsed in passing. i still have no doubts about taking this job and moving so very far away. the anticipation of the good and bad things awaiting me here just floods me. i can't wait to start work next week. i can't wait to settle down and move into a new place.
-but i also want to be able to fully live here in the uncertainty of who i'll know and love, where i'll live, and what i'll be doing. i don't want to spend these days only in anticipation of what's to come. joy and grace and peace are only in this moment, and i'll be damned if i'll waste it waiting for another one.
much love from the city by the bay!
in closing, some words from, well, the moon:
When you are the moon, there is a person people say is the sun. I saw the sun once, and he came past me, really fast. And it was an, it was called, the, an eclipse. And he came fast! But as he came past, I, I licked his back. [the mighty boosh]
thanks for stoppping by.