minor heartburn, major victory

last night's dinner at ze cinema: raisinets.

arrived home and my body told me it was time for dessert. Cookies with chocolate icing!

woke up RAVENOUS. had cereal (my vegetable for the day).... proceeded to beg Jenn to drive me to In-N-Out for lunch.

Got back to work after my double-double and fries. Realized i was still hungry, so I polished off a package of Red Vines...and a package of beef jerky. and now some fruit snacks.

it has suddenly occurred to me that, when I was a child, I would sometimes dream

"when I go to college/don't have to listen to my parents,

I'm going to eat nothing but cake batter!"

and OH! how i longed for that day.

flash forward to 2010. while some days I wonder what it is I'm doing/should be doing with my life.... today is NOT THAT DAY! I conclude this sunny thursday with some renewed hope that I have become exactly what I always dreamed of being.

I HAVE ACHIEVED THE PINNACLE OF PERSONAL SUCCESS:

I EAT LIKE AN 8 YEAR OLD ORPHAN!

When Morganne invited us to visit her family in Santa Barbara last summer, we jumped at the chance. Jumped kind of ravenously, actually, since we have a thing for road trips: fresh air, dancing in the car, getting to the beach, and...fast food galore.

So we headed southbound on The One, in search of sunshine and dollar menus.

In-N-Out: duh.

STOP THE CAR, was that a Wendy's/TacoBell in one building? DO IT.

(Someone pass the Pepto.)

1 playlist later, from the backseat came pleas for 5 dolla footlongs.

Well hello there, Jack-In-The-Box! Milkshakes and tots? Don't mind if we do!

Needless to say, Santa Barbara is paradise.

(and for way more legitimate reasons than our fast food addiction.)

That said, in Morganne's old room, she had this gorgeous black and white ad. Jennifer Aniston, on a dock with a paper boat. Perhaps wondering how John Mayer can be so alluring and yet so, so sketch.

It has a very east coast feel to me, and maybe that's it's draw. Not sure, really. I never really loved Aniston until I saw this particular campaign. But no matter how many middling movies she may put out there, she's still America's sweetheart. And c'mon people, she's still chillin' on a dock. Not even John Mayer himself can resist that.

Flash forward to last week, and I'm needing a little inspiration one morning. I may have been creepily Google Image searching Miss Aniston like woah. But anyway, I channeled the dock ad for an outfit. Couldn't even wait for Morganne to see when I got to work.

And what do you know, she was out SICK.

LAME.

So naturally, I enlisted Emily, and we headed outside at sunset to take a souvenir shot for Morgsy as she lay on her deathbed.

But let me tell you, Miss Aniston did not make that effing boat. People, I tried making an origami boat. I've watched NUMEROUS youtube videos. I fought the good fight, I really did. And while the video instructors ended up with fully-functioning kayaks, I somehow ended up with piles of confetti and nasty paper cuts.

Scrapping that idea, I resorted to mailing supplies and a crapload of staples.

Thanks, Em!:

Have a great long weekend!

With Love From,

your sketchy, vain, celebrity-impersonating friend.